When am I going to break out of my pandemic slump...

It's been two months since my last blog about details and data and although I learnt so much from that blog, my weight and lifestyle has not changed much more from when I wrote it. Yes, it's not got worse but it's also not got much better! 

Since my last blog at the end of August, I have started my new job and have now been their just under 2 months and I am loving it. However, it has shown a pattern to me of wanting to be more social, meeting with new team members and also giving me the excuse to meet friends for lunches, dinners and drinks too because I am using the chance of being out of the house to take full advantage of the social and food options! Including even going out to eat with my husband! 

Enjoying my new job and team

The training has also gotten better due to me being out of the house more, more energy and more motivated. At one point I was cooking again, enjoying being in the kitchen, loving the meals I made, the way they made me feel, tons of energy and back working out 4 to 5 times a week! It felt like I was finally over my pandemic slump... 

And then the fall came with its germs, bugs and viruses! I was ill, my PT was ill, Aadi was ill and then my husband! Each time knocking me more and more off my stride! And no matter how hard I tell myself to be independent, to be that little bit selfish and to keep going without taking anyone else into account, my good girl demons rise up, telling me to not be so silly and to put everyone else first! 

Damn, I wish I wasn't so worried about putting everyone else first sometimes when I know I am going to suffer as a part of that decision and person! And I do suffer because I will eat what the majority wants to eat or that little devil on my shoulder loves to cave in VERY easily to a suggestion of bad food! And with bad food comes zero motivation, a feeling of blah and no workouts! Which then makes me feel worse, so I eat more bad food, feel worse and the cycle continues...

So true, even though I don't like calling it dieting

And I know the only way to get out of this forever continuing circle is to break it and to get back on the good food, good mood train! But we all know how hard that is! IF it was so easy we would all be a lot happier and more motivated. I guess that's why the fitness industry does so well with it's 'quick fixes' and lies. But it is so frustrating to sit there knowing if you ate a good healthy meal and went for a run you would feel a million times better then the person sat there right now scrolling through your phone wishing you felt and looked as good as half of your social media feed! But do we put the phone down and do it?  Of course not! 

One of my worst moods that I still don't know how to handle is when I am bored but I am too bored to do anything about it!! How can you be too bored and tired to not be able to fix the problem! And I do it with health and fitness as well. I will be angry at myself for bad food, not working out and bored, while also having a huge inner motivation to fix it but no energy or actual motivation to do anything about it! I can have all the answers, ideas to fix it and make plans but then just have no actual intentions, enthusiasm or effort to do it! My mind drives me insane! 

And how much of this is me and how much of this my lifestyle right now? Being inside my apartment for the majority of the 168 hours I get each week working, sleeping, eating, relaxing etc how can this be motivational? But I have to see that the pandemic could continue for many, many more months and I can not keep using it as my excuse to not find new ways to stay motivated, to stay focused and to most importantly progress on my most important journey - me!!! 

It's not about where you are, it's where you have come from

So when am I going to break out of my pandemic slump, I hope tomorrow but I know already it will not be the last time I will have to do it! This is a journey and sometimes we slip, sometimes it's all power, grit and progress and sometimes it's snotty noses, stress and new things to challenge you! That's life and we have to see that we are part of a continual lifestyle change and it is not a miracle one pill fixes all way of life! And when falling I will continue to follow Aaliyah's wise words to dust yourself off and try again...