This subject has been bugging me quite a bit lately and as a someone who believes in Karma a lot it hurts me to have to give up on people and friendships but sometimes you have to admit to yourself you have tried all you can and it's there loss at the end of the day. If you can quite happily say you've tried to reach out and put things right then what more can you do and are those people worth the stress?
My recent Birthday, the New Year and Our New Life in Malmö have all made me think about what is a true friend, who is there for you when you need them and who you can rely on.
My husband worked for the same company for 6 years in the UK and the relationships he developed while working there you would think after 6 years would be true friendships but the same as me as soon as the walls began to crumble and his company went into redundancies everyone began to change and jump ship and those strong 6 year friendships suddenly became no more. Even the wives and girlfriends that I had developed friendships with suddenly didn't care about anyone but themselves and everyone began to compete against each other for the best jobs out there.
"A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde
A friend I saw as a very close, there for me whenever, kind person, best friend turned her back on me because I didn't invite one of her friends to my house for a girly night in, even though the other girl and I had a mutual respect that we didn't get on but would at our partners company things. (High School I know)
Our wedding was one of the biggest eye openers I have ever seen where friendship is concerned. My closest friend was chosen as my maid of honour but some how crazyness between the two of us and a bit of Bridezilla on my behalf led me to lose her as a friend right before my big day. Then suddenly my oldest friend from childhood came back onto the scene and I saw this as one of those "meant to be situations" and she became my maid of honour. Everything was fine except I knew on the day somebody was missing and this was fuelled by the fact after the day of my wedding I have not spoken to my maid of honour since...
The girl who eventually was my maid of honour fell out with me because I did not thank her for my wedding present until after I got back from honeymoon and because I couldn't go to her house warming party despite having a very good reason to miss it.
"Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life."
- James Francis Byrnes
Petty arguments and going behind peoples back talking about them I always thought would be a thing of the past once I left high school but it seems to be in peoples genes. Causing trouble seems to make some people feel better about themselves and its sad to see..
As I said I am a great believer in having a clear mind and karma and it hurts me when people turn there back on me for no reason or for a reason I try hard to put right. Both girls mentioned above I have tried time and time again to put things right by ringing, texting, twitter and messaging on FB. There's nothing worse then being removed and blocked on FB by somebody you were so close to and I hope they know how much that hurts. Every new year I message both girls and ask New Year, New Start?? To which I never get a reply and it hurts me everyday to think 2 people I loved could turn there back on me and ignore me reaching out to put things right...
After all is said and done when do I actually just let go?? When do I let childish behaviour be a thing of my past and leave them to it?? As I say i've tried so hard to put things right - so does this mean my soul and karma is clear??
Moving here has taught me one thing friends come and go but real friends will be there no matter what you go through in life and when there's hundreds of miles between us it's the real one's that still message you or write on your wall to make sure your ok and as I head towards my thirties living in Malmö the new friends i'm making seem to be the real thing and I think I finally can see who's there for the right reasons and who I am best to keep at arms length. - The answer being the time to let go is now!!!
And the good news is the girl who should of been my maid of honour I am back talking to and will make sure she stays a part of my life.
And if all else fails i'm lucky enough to have two of the Bestest Friends that I know will always be a part of my life one of them we've been through hell and back together and the other I married :)
My recent Birthday, the New Year and Our New Life in Malmö have all made me think about what is a true friend, who is there for you when you need them and who you can rely on.
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| My Best Friend - My Husband |
"A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde
A friend I saw as a very close, there for me whenever, kind person, best friend turned her back on me because I didn't invite one of her friends to my house for a girly night in, even though the other girl and I had a mutual respect that we didn't get on but would at our partners company things. (High School I know)
Our wedding was one of the biggest eye openers I have ever seen where friendship is concerned. My closest friend was chosen as my maid of honour but some how crazyness between the two of us and a bit of Bridezilla on my behalf led me to lose her as a friend right before my big day. Then suddenly my oldest friend from childhood came back onto the scene and I saw this as one of those "meant to be situations" and she became my maid of honour. Everything was fine except I knew on the day somebody was missing and this was fuelled by the fact after the day of my wedding I have not spoken to my maid of honour since...
The girl who eventually was my maid of honour fell out with me because I did not thank her for my wedding present until after I got back from honeymoon and because I couldn't go to her house warming party despite having a very good reason to miss it.
"Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life."
- James Francis Byrnes
Petty arguments and going behind peoples back talking about them I always thought would be a thing of the past once I left high school but it seems to be in peoples genes. Causing trouble seems to make some people feel better about themselves and its sad to see..
As I said I am a great believer in having a clear mind and karma and it hurts me when people turn there back on me for no reason or for a reason I try hard to put right. Both girls mentioned above I have tried time and time again to put things right by ringing, texting, twitter and messaging on FB. There's nothing worse then being removed and blocked on FB by somebody you were so close to and I hope they know how much that hurts. Every new year I message both girls and ask New Year, New Start?? To which I never get a reply and it hurts me everyday to think 2 people I loved could turn there back on me and ignore me reaching out to put things right...
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| I think FB has a lot to answer for with relationships |
Moving here has taught me one thing friends come and go but real friends will be there no matter what you go through in life and when there's hundreds of miles between us it's the real one's that still message you or write on your wall to make sure your ok and as I head towards my thirties living in Malmö the new friends i'm making seem to be the real thing and I think I finally can see who's there for the right reasons and who I am best to keep at arms length. - The answer being the time to let go is now!!!
 |
| My Bestest Friend even with the miles between us |
And if all else fails i'm lucky enough to have two of the Bestest Friends that I know will always be a part of my life one of them we've been through hell and back together and the other I married :)
"The friendship that can cease has never been real." - Saint Jerome
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